Nine years ago, almost down to the minute, I received a call from my dad about Ray Hardin passing away. He’d been fighting lung cancer, and we knew the end was near. That didn’t keep the shock of his death from hitting me in the face. The previous Monday, I’d had my wisdom teeth removed. …
Mania
About a week ago, I went to church with my mom and dad. During bible class, our preacher asked the young people in the room what our parents did that made us feel good. I thought it was an odd question, as did my mom. He provided us with slips of paper on which to …
Vulnerability
A few months ago, one of the minsters at my church asked me to make a video for the online service that week. (We are still meeting virtually thanks to COVID.) He asked me to talk about my mental health journey. I’d been itching to tell my story, so I gladly accepted. I wrote a …
For mood!
In a little over two weeks, I will celebrate what I call my bipolar birthday. August 22, 2011 was my first day of mania, followed soon by a psychotic break. Ah! Such fond memories (not). I cannot believe it’s been nine years! For nine years, I’ve taken Geodon and Lamictal every night (except a few …
Mental illness is not a sign of weakness, neither is taking medicine
Since my bipolar diagnosis when I was 19, I have read several books by people who are also bipolar. Often, the memoirs are filled with tragic and scary stories. One of the books I’ve read is called Life is Like a Line. I cannot remember much about the book. I do know that it has …
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Overcoming
Last February (2019) was rough. I wasn’t sleeping well; getting only five or six hours most nights. I was constantly hypomanic. Hypomania is great in moderation. It takes its toll when it is chronic, though. As I’ve written before, my hypomania is accompanied by nasty irritability. I was not a pleasant person. I’m not sure …
Exercise, the free antipsychotic
When I was three, I received a Fisher Price tee ball set for my birthday. The tee sat on a plastic home plate. You could detach the tee and set the ball directly on the base. There was this pump that was attached to the base, and when you stepped on it, the ball shot …
Music and neurochemistry
I took piano when I was eight until I was ten, and I was terrible. I didn’t learn how to read music in those two years. When my teacher assigned me a piece of music, I would go home and write the corresponding letter next to each note. I had the keys on the piano …
Mixed-state beware
The hallmarks of bipolar disorder are mania and depression. The illness used to be called manic-depressive disorder until someone decided calling it bipolar disorder is more PC. The semantics do not matter a whole lot to me, but calling it manic-depressive is more descriptive and informative. The word bipolar lends itself to word play, so …
The good, the bad, and the ugly (See also: hypomania)
Because of my medicine (which is awesome in every way) and how vigilant I am with sleep, I spend a lot of time in hypomania or just shy of that extreme. What is hypomania? Terri Cheney describes hypomania as three-quarters manic. Speaking from experience, I have boundless energy and ideas are fast when I’m hypomanic. …
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Between Two Poles 