For once in my life, I’m in the mood to write. Apparently, this means nothing because I do not know what to write about. I’ve finished my book titled The Ultimate Guide to Not Sucking at Human Interactions, and it doesn’t really need anymore work. If I went back to it, I’d just sit there …
Just be
I didn’t have many friends in high school or college. Unmedicated and incredibly intense, I had a hard time being close to anyone in high school. I became friends with a girl a grade below me and our friendship was strong at first and then it petered out. We became close very fast and eventually …
Regimented to the extreme
After my manic episode nearly ten years ago, I went to an outpatient facility for a few weeks. My prick of a psychiatrist discharged me without first consulting my parents. I was nineteen, so legally an adult. However, I behaved like an eight-year-old at best in the aftermath of my psychotic break. I had no …
Overthinking Overthinking
I think a lot. I’ve often wished I could escape my own head for even a little bit because my brain rarely stops whirring. Until recently, I didn’t necessarily realize how much I overthink things, or how my thinking might be not be the norm. Most of my overthinking resides in my relationships with people. …
Writing demons
I seem to have three moods as they pertain to writing. First, I have the I-don’t-want-to-write-anything mood. This is my default. Consequently, I can go weeks upon weeks without writing anything. This is a horrible habit, and since I want to write a book in the near future, one I will have to kill. Second, …
Exercise, the free antipsychotic
When I was three, I received a Fisher Price tee ball set for my birthday. The tee sat on a plastic home plate. You could detach the tee and set the ball directly on the base. There was this pump that was attached to the base, and when you stepped on it, the ball shot …
Mixed-state beware
The hallmarks of bipolar disorder are mania and depression. The illness used to be called manic-depressive disorder until someone decided calling it bipolar disorder is more PC. The semantics do not matter a whole lot to me, but calling it manic-depressive is more descriptive and informative. The word bipolar lends itself to word play, so …
The good, the bad, and the ugly (See also: hypomania)
Because of my medicine (which is awesome in every way) and how vigilant I am with sleep, I spend a lot of time in hypomania or just shy of that extreme. What is hypomania? Terri Cheney describes hypomania as three-quarters manic. Speaking from experience, I have boundless energy and ideas are fast when I’m hypomanic. …
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To be, or not to be?
In 2011, after going 85 hours without sleep and the ensuing psychotic break, my parents started taking me to a mental health facility during the day. I did not like it. At all. My mind was fried, and I thought I was seeing things that didn’t exist. I couldn’t tell the patients from the therapists …
How a CPA changed my life
I arrived at Baylor for my freshman year of college on a Thursday. Just a week later, I had to unenroll over the phone on my way back to Dallas (my dad came and got me). I’d gone 85 hours without sleep and experienced that wonderful hell known as mania. Always the overachiever, I also …
Between Two Poles 