Several months after my psychotic break and after I had begun to accept my diagnosis, I went to Barnes & Noble with my dad. He’s always enjoyed going to the psychology section, and I tagged along. I found a memoir called Manic written by Terri Cheney (you can buy it on Amazon here). The cover and …
Dear me at 16
Thanks to a prompt from a trusty random subject generator, I’ve decided to write a letter to my 16-year-old self. Let’s see what happens. I’ve been wrestling with this post for the better part of a week, and I just cannot get it going. So, I’m going to try to write it in stream-of-consciousness. Just …
Choosing bravery
I am not a daring person. I am scared of most things, and wary of everything else. I have friends who skydive and voluntarily engage in other adrenaline-inducing adventures. Not me. I avoid adrenaline at all costs. Since I do not enjoy leaving the house after five o’clock in the evening, this is easily achievable. …
Bipolar birthday
This week marks the seventh anniversary of my bipolar diagnosis. I consider August 21st my bipolar birthday because it is the first night I went without sleep, which caused the storm that followed. (You can find a more detailed account of that story here.) Some people find it odd that I celebrate my bipolar birthday, …
High school mania
After I was diagnosed and came to accept my diagnosis, a certain day in high school suddenly made much more sense to me. It was a Friday morning of my senior year. It was the beginning of volleyball season, and we had a tournament. We all had to wake up at an un-Godly hour because …
Dear Medicine, thanks for stabilizing me…
When I was first diagnosed, my doctors did not have to go through the entire pharmacy to find what medication worked for me. I am taking the same medicine I took when I was diagnosed in 2011. Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder. It’s characterized by extreme moods. People with bipolar disorder have mania up …
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I am not bipolar, or am I?
To save time and energy, when I tell people I have bipolar disorder, I actually phrase it, “I am bipolar.” I’m all about mincing words, so describing it as “I am bipolar” cuts out an entire word. Winning! Some people have tried to convince me that saying I am bipolar is demeaning towards myself. They …
