Fourteen years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar. At the time, I couldn’t think of anything more pitiful. Me? With a mental illness? Surely not. This was in the middle of a full-blown manic episode. I tried to deny that anything was wrong, and I didn’t want to take medicine the rest of my life. …
Evolution
I went through high school unmedicated. My illness flew under the radar, mostly because I played sports year around, and I exercised at least two hours a day, except some weekends. I didn’t sleep much, particularly in high school. I don’t think my parents realized I did homework until 12:00 AM and woke up at …
A new doctor – thank goodness
In 2011, shortly after I received my bipolar diagnosis (which I got from a psychiatric hospital the week of my first and only psychotic break), I started seeing a psychiatrist outside of the hospital. He was quirky, and he helped me think critically about how to manage my illness. He gave me ideas for how …
Regimented to the extreme
After my manic episode nearly ten years ago, I went to an outpatient facility for a few weeks. My prick of a psychiatrist discharged me without first consulting my parents. I was nineteen, so legally an adult. However, I behaved like an eight-year-old at best in the aftermath of my psychotic break. I had no …
The cost of mental health
I got laid off back in March. Somehow, the company had incredible foresight and laid off about 100 employees right before COVID-19 caused all the shutdowns. For five months, I lived on the severance my company gave me and my writing and editing side hustle. Things became a little more desperate in August, and on …
Nine years and many more to come
Nine years ago, almost down to the minute, I received a call from my dad about Ray Hardin passing away. He’d been fighting lung cancer, and we knew the end was near. That didn’t keep the shock of his death from hitting me in the face. The previous Monday, I’d had my wisdom teeth removed. …
Mania
About a week ago, I went to church with my mom and dad. During bible class, our preacher asked the young people in the room what our parents did that made us feel good. I thought it was an odd question, as did my mom. He provided us with slips of paper on which to …
Vulnerability
A few months ago, one of the minsters at my church asked me to make a video for the online service that week. (We are still meeting virtually thanks to COVID.) He asked me to talk about my mental health journey. I’d been itching to tell my story, so I gladly accepted. I wrote a …
For mood!
In a little over two weeks, I will celebrate what I call my bipolar birthday. August 22, 2011 was my first day of mania, followed soon by a psychotic break. Ah! Such fond memories (not). I cannot believe it’s been nine years! For nine years, I’ve taken Geodon and Lamictal every night (except a few …
Mental illness is not a sign of weakness, neither is taking medicine
Since my bipolar diagnosis when I was 19, I have read several books by people who are also bipolar. Often, the memoirs are filled with tragic and scary stories. One of the books I’ve read is called Life is Like a Line. I cannot remember much about the book. I do know that it has …
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Between Two Poles 