A little over thirteen years ago, during my first week of college, I stopped sleeping. I was recovering from wisdom tooth surgery, and I was probably well on my way to mania before I officially stopped sleeping. By my count, I went 85 hours without sleep. I likely had a psychotic break thrown in as …
Learned Behavior (Part I)
My best friend and I have been texting quite a bit recently, and a couple of her comments have me thinking. I sometimes do my best thinking when I journal, so I’m going to try to process our conversations through writing. My friend and I share a deep adoration for books and reading. I liked …
Evolution
I went through high school unmedicated. My illness flew under the radar, mostly because I played sports year around, and I exercised at least two hours a day, except some weekends. I didn’t sleep much, particularly in high school. I don’t think my parents realized I did homework until 12:00 AM and woke up at …
Regimented to the extreme
After my manic episode nearly ten years ago, I went to an outpatient facility for a few weeks. My prick of a psychiatrist discharged me without first consulting my parents. I was nineteen, so legally an adult. However, I behaved like an eight-year-old at best in the aftermath of my psychotic break. I had no …
Overthinking Overthinking
I think a lot. I’ve often wished I could escape my own head for even a little bit because my brain rarely stops whirring. Until recently, I didn’t necessarily realize how much I overthink things, or how my thinking might be not be the norm. Most of my overthinking resides in my relationships with people. …
The cost of mental health
I got laid off back in March. Somehow, the company had incredible foresight and laid off about 100 employees right before COVID-19 caused all the shutdowns. For five months, I lived on the severance my company gave me and my writing and editing side hustle. Things became a little more desperate in August, and on …
Mental illness is not a sign of weakness, neither is taking medicine
Since my bipolar diagnosis when I was 19, I have read several books by people who are also bipolar. Often, the memoirs are filled with tragic and scary stories. One of the books I’ve read is called Life is Like a Line. I cannot remember much about the book. I do know that it has …
Continue reading "Mental illness is not a sign of weakness, neither is taking medicine"
To be, or not to be?
In 2011, after going 85 hours without sleep and the ensuing psychotic break, my parents started taking me to a mental health facility during the day. I did not like it. At all. My mind was fried, and I thought I was seeing things that didn’t exist. I couldn’t tell the patients from the therapists …
How a CPA changed my life
I arrived at Baylor for my freshman year of college on a Thursday. Just a week later, I had to unenroll over the phone on my way back to Dallas (my dad came and got me). I’d gone 85 hours without sleep and experienced that wonderful hell known as mania. Always the overachiever, I also …
The joys of being moody
Yay. Another night where I can’t sleep. Fun stuff, let me tell you. Sometimes I feel like I have my sleep figured out; other times, like tonight, all my usual “tricks” don’t work. Oh, well. I probably take sleep for granted, so this keeps me honest. Still sucks, though, cause tomorrow morning will be a …
Between Two Poles 