I didn’t have many friends in high school or college. Unmedicated and incredibly intense, I had a hard time being close to anyone in high school. I became friends with a girl a grade below me and our friendship was strong at first and then it petered out. We became close very fast and eventually …
Regimented to the extreme
After my manic episode nearly ten years ago, I went to an outpatient facility for a few weeks. My prick of a psychiatrist discharged me without first consulting my parents. I was nineteen, so legally an adult. However, I behaved like an eight-year-old at best in the aftermath of my psychotic break. I had no …
Being dropped
In 2007, my little town voted to start a high school. Up to then, the school district only went up to eighth grade, and everyone funneled into a neighboring town’s high schools. I was in that first graduating class, which meant I was always an upperclassman. I played all the sports, and my junior and …
Acceptance
As a kid, summers were my favorite. No school! Swimming, sweating, and playing all day. No cares in the world. Not to mention, I used to be the biggest pansy when it came to cold weather. I hated it. Over the years, summers obviously became less special because, once you are in the real world, …
Mania
About a week ago, I went to church with my mom and dad. During bible class, our preacher asked the young people in the room what our parents did that made us feel good. I thought it was an odd question, as did my mom. He provided us with slips of paper on which to …
Vulnerability
A few months ago, one of the minsters at my church asked me to make a video for the online service that week. (We are still meeting virtually thanks to COVID.) He asked me to talk about my mental health journey. I’d been itching to tell my story, so I gladly accepted. I wrote a …
For mood!
In a little over two weeks, I will celebrate what I call my bipolar birthday. August 22, 2011 was my first day of mania, followed soon by a psychotic break. Ah! Such fond memories (not). I cannot believe it’s been nine years! For nine years, I’ve taken Geodon and Lamictal every night (except a few …
Mental illness is not a sign of weakness, neither is taking medicine
Since my bipolar diagnosis when I was 19, I have read several books by people who are also bipolar. Often, the memoirs are filled with tragic and scary stories. One of the books I’ve read is called Life is Like a Line. I cannot remember much about the book. I do know that it has …
Continue reading "Mental illness is not a sign of weakness, neither is taking medicine"
Exercise, the free antipsychotic
When I was three, I received a Fisher Price tee ball set for my birthday. The tee sat on a plastic home plate. You could detach the tee and set the ball directly on the base. There was this pump that was attached to the base, and when you stepped on it, the ball shot …
Music and neurochemistry
I took piano when I was eight until I was ten, and I was terrible. I didn’t learn how to read music in those two years. When my teacher assigned me a piece of music, I would go home and write the corresponding letter next to each note. I had the keys on the piano …
Between Two Poles 