I think a lot. I’ve often wished I could escape my own head for even a little bit because my brain rarely stops whirring. Until recently, I didn’t necessarily realize how much I overthink things, or how my thinking might be not be the norm. Most of my overthinking resides in my relationships with people. …
Being dropped
In 2007, my little town voted to start a high school. Up to then, the school district only went up to eighth grade, and everyone funneled into a neighboring town’s high schools. I was in that first graduating class, which meant I was always an upperclassman. I played all the sports, and my junior and …
Writing demons
I seem to have three moods as they pertain to writing. First, I have the I-don’t-want-to-write-anything mood. This is my default. Consequently, I can go weeks upon weeks without writing anything. This is a horrible habit, and since I want to write a book in the near future, one I will have to kill. Second, …
Acceptance
As a kid, summers were my favorite. No school! Swimming, sweating, and playing all day. No cares in the world. Not to mention, I used to be the biggest pansy when it came to cold weather. I hated it. Over the years, summers obviously became less special because, once you are in the real world, …
The cost of mental health
I got laid off back in March. Somehow, the company had incredible foresight and laid off about 100 employees right before COVID-19 caused all the shutdowns. For five months, I lived on the severance my company gave me and my writing and editing side hustle. Things became a little more desperate in August, and on …
Nine years and many more to come
Nine years ago, almost down to the minute, I received a call from my dad about Ray Hardin passing away. He’d been fighting lung cancer, and we knew the end was near. That didn’t keep the shock of his death from hitting me in the face. The previous Monday, I’d had my wisdom teeth removed. …
Mania
About a week ago, I went to church with my mom and dad. During bible class, our preacher asked the young people in the room what our parents did that made us feel good. I thought it was an odd question, as did my mom. He provided us with slips of paper on which to …
Vulnerability
A few months ago, one of the minsters at my church asked me to make a video for the online service that week. (We are still meeting virtually thanks to COVID.) He asked me to talk about my mental health journey. I’d been itching to tell my story, so I gladly accepted. I wrote a …
For mood!
In a little over two weeks, I will celebrate what I call my bipolar birthday. August 22, 2011 was my first day of mania, followed soon by a psychotic break. Ah! Such fond memories (not). I cannot believe it’s been nine years! For nine years, I’ve taken Geodon and Lamictal every night (except a few …
Mental illness is not a sign of weakness, neither is taking medicine
Since my bipolar diagnosis when I was 19, I have read several books by people who are also bipolar. Often, the memoirs are filled with tragic and scary stories. One of the books I’ve read is called Life is Like a Line. I cannot remember much about the book. I do know that it has …
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