It has been soooooo long since I’ve written for this blog. Almost an entire year. A lot has happened in the past 14 months. I met a guy (THE guy) in February of last year. After a brief yet intense courtship, he asked for my hand in marriage. Maybe I’ll write a more detailed account later. We gave ourselves five months to plan the wedding. We got married a little over a month ago.
Writing definitely wasn’t on my mind much when we first started dating….or after we’d been dating awhile…or after getting engaged….now, my husband is gently (or not so gently) urging me to pick up writing again. (To be fair, I’ve ghostwritten a book for someone in that time, so I haven’t NOT been writing—I just haven’t been writing for myself).
I started keeping a journal several months before I met my husband. My blog acted as a journal for a long time. My journal was much more raw and had things I didn’t want anyone to see. I went through a rough time in 2021. Unemployed. No luck with dating. Suicidal ideations, albeit mild and lazy—I didn’t actually want to die, but I didn’t have the energy or bandwidth to face the overwhelming dread and worthlessness I was feeling.
August through October of 2021 was incredibly rough. Even though I wasn’t functioning well, at some point, I came to terms with the possibility of being single the rest of my life. I accepted that and was okay with it (the first time I had feelings of peace and contentment surrounding the potential of not getting married).
Six months later, I met my now-husband. Our first date lasted seven hours. SEVEN HOURS. It was nuts. Three days later, I wrote in my journal I was pretty sure I’d met the guy I was going to marry. I knew that early. I found out later he intimated similar feelings to his parents about me around that time. We spent so much time together after our first coffee date. We went a couple weekends where we hung out for twenty hours over two days.
He’s amazing. He is incredibly open with his feelings, and I’ve never had to wonder how he feels about me. He tells me he loves me all the time. He sometimes says it, and I’ll say it back, and then we will be quiet for a bit and he’ll say it again. I’ve always known how much I mean to him, and my feelings towards him haven’t wavered.
From the beginning I could tell he was different, partly because I was so different around him. I’m naturally goofy and playful. No other guy brought that out in me. I felt safe with him from the beginning. Everything with him is effortless. I don’t have to second guess myself…ever. I just say whatever funny thing comes into my head, or I’ll mess with him, and there’s very little premeditation. It’s easy to be with him. He’s funny. Probably funnier than me. We laugh a lot.
I didn’t know I was capable of such deep feelings of love and adoration. I never thought I could find someone who would love me so unconditionally and who would bring out the absolute best in me. Neither of us are perfect. But we are perfect for each other.
Our wedding day was beautiful and everything went off without a hitch. It is truly one of the best days of my life. I’ll never forget it. And we’ll be getting pictures soon! Yay!
Anyway. I’m alive and doing well. Hopefully, I’ll catch a writing bug and start posting more frequently again. No promises!
Between Two Poles 
Congratulations on your marriage! I am also getting married in two and a half weeks! Actually, we are already married civilly (we had to do that last August so my wife could get a visa to the UK), but we’re having our religious ceremony.
Our courtship was very different to yours (long-distance, on/off courtship that lasted years), but we both feel what you describe here, of loving and feeling loved unconditionally in a way we never expected and that brings out the best in us. I am pleased this is the same for you too.
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