Fourteen years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar. At the time, I couldn’t think of anything more pitiful. Me? With a mental illness? Surely not. This was in the middle of a full-blown manic episode. I tried to deny that anything was wrong, and I didn’t want to take medicine the rest of my life. …
An overreaction
A little over thirteen years ago, during my first week of college, I stopped sleeping. I was recovering from wisdom tooth surgery, and I was probably well on my way to mania before I officially stopped sleeping. By my count, I went 85 hours without sleep. I likely had a psychotic break thrown in as …
Finding yourself in a mixed-state
Looking back on 2023 mostly brings happy thoughts. Our first year of marriage was fun, and we grew closer and more in love. However, I also know I was likely borderline depressed during a lot of it. Not a full depression at any point. I just didn’t have energy or motivation to do anything besides …
The First Anniversary
One year. In some ways, our first year of marriage absolutely flew by. No way it’s been twelve months since we got married. I remember the day as if it happened last week, partly because I intentionally tried to live the day in the moment and remember as much of it as possible. We got …
Learned Behavior (Part I)
My best friend and I have been texting quite a bit recently, and a couple of her comments have me thinking. I sometimes do my best thinking when I journal, so I’m going to try to process our conversations through writing. My friend and I share a deep adoration for books and reading. I liked …
Evolution
I went through high school unmedicated. My illness flew under the radar, mostly because I played sports year around, and I exercised at least two hours a day, except some weekends. I didn’t sleep much, particularly in high school. I don’t think my parents realized I did homework until 12:00 AM and woke up at …
A new doctor – thank goodness
In 2011, shortly after I received my bipolar diagnosis (which I got from a psychiatric hospital the week of my first and only psychotic break), I started seeing a psychiatrist outside of the hospital. He was quirky, and he helped me think critically about how to manage my illness. He gave me ideas for how …
Good mood or hypomania?
I received my bipolar diagnosis a little over twelve years ago as a freshman in college. It took me a couple years to accept my diagnosis as valid, and looking back on my life pre-diagnosis, there is a lot of evidence that substantiate my having bipolar disorder. I spent most of my high school years …
It’s been a hot minute…
It has been soooooo long since I’ve written for this blog. Almost an entire year. A lot has happened in the past 14 months. I met a guy (THE guy) in February of last year. After a brief yet intense courtship, he asked for my hand in marriage. Maybe I’ll write a more detailed account …
Writing mood
For once in my life, I’m in the mood to write. Apparently, this means nothing because I do not know what to write about. I’ve finished my book titled The Ultimate Guide to Not Sucking at Human Interactions, and it doesn’t really need anymore work. If I went back to it, I’d just sit there …
Between Two Poles 