Fourteen years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar. At the time, I couldn’t think of anything more pitiful. Me? With a mental illness? Surely not. This was in the middle of a full-blown manic episode. I tried to deny that anything was wrong, and I didn’t want to take medicine the rest of my life. …
An overreaction
A little over thirteen years ago, during my first week of college, I stopped sleeping. I was recovering from wisdom tooth surgery, and I was probably well on my way to mania before I officially stopped sleeping. By my count, I went 85 hours without sleep. I likely had a psychotic break thrown in as …
Finding yourself in a mixed-state
Looking back on 2023 mostly brings happy thoughts. Our first year of marriage was fun, and we grew closer and more in love. However, I also know I was likely borderline depressed during a lot of it. Not a full depression at any point. I just didn’t have energy or motivation to do anything besides …
Evolution
I went through high school unmedicated. My illness flew under the radar, mostly because I played sports year around, and I exercised at least two hours a day, except some weekends. I didn’t sleep much, particularly in high school. I don’t think my parents realized I did homework until 12:00 AM and woke up at …
Good mood or hypomania?
I received my bipolar diagnosis a little over twelve years ago as a freshman in college. It took me a couple years to accept my diagnosis as valid, and looking back on my life pre-diagnosis, there is a lot of evidence that substantiate my having bipolar disorder. I spent most of my high school years …
Welcome back, Hypomania!
After being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2011, my psychiatrist and I spent the next few years figuring out the right doses for my medication. At first, sleep was not a problem. My medicine actually made me too tired; I took both around 6:00 pm and would be in bed by 7:00. Since couldn’t be …
The good, the bad, and the ugly (See also: hypomania)
Because of my medicine (which is awesome in every way) and how vigilant I am with sleep, I spend a lot of time in hypomania or just shy of that extreme. What is hypomania? Terri Cheney describes hypomania as three-quarters manic. Speaking from experience, I have boundless energy and ideas are fast when I’m hypomanic. …
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A pointless post
Yesterday, I woke up at 1:00 AM after six hours of sleep (yes, I went to bed at 7:00—thanks Geodon). Waking up that early can go one of two ways. I can be energetic and witty and happy all day (very rare). I am energetic and witty, but easily annoyed and incredibly irritable, pretty much …
My authentic self
Earlier this week, I posted a piece called Taking off the mask. It's about using humor to avoid vulnerability and to keep people at a safe distance emotionally. After some reflection, I’m afraid I inadvertently downgraded the benefits of humor. The cliché saying that laughter is the best medicine is not far from the truth. …
Please don’t assign my moods
Even though I’m prone to melancholy, I love to laugh, and I especially love making other people laugh. Oftentimes, the best jokes stem from self-deprecation, and I’ll be the first person to make fun of myself. I particularly enjoy making crazy and bipolar jokes. I typically don’t mind other people making jokes, as long as …
Between Two Poles 