On Fridays I will choose a topic on which to give my take. Take being a nice word for opinion. I will simply share my thoughts on whatever random topic comes to mind. I look forward to seeing where this section leads us.
My take on friendship
If being passive aggressive were an Olympic event, I’d think about entering, but probably wouldn’t, and then I would feel offended that nobody asked me to participate. My proficiency in passive aggressive behavior is shameful. I can usually control it, but if I’m irritable, it is my weapon of choice.
I will be the first to tell you that I am capable of being a horrible person. When I am irritable or in a dark mood, my words are often venom, and it’s best to let me ride out the storm alone. Being cognizant of this, I emotionally barricade myself in and brood. But being alone with my dark moods is dangerous business for me.
So what do I do to escape the loneliness? I go pick fights. I do it for the sake of conflict, not because I want to win an argument. Oftentimes, I just want someone towards whom I can channel my pent up anger and frustration.
One of my dearest friends has seen this pattern countless times. She doesn’t stand for my passive aggressive pot shots, though. She doesn’t let me get away with such behavior, and I love her for it. She calls me on my silly pity parties, too, which is frustrating at times, but eliminating those from my repertoire is important.
With her help, these episodes have become less frequent, and I am able to get over them much faster. She’s seen the darkest sides of my personality, but she’s remained my friend. You can’t buy a friend like that, folks.
True friends aren’t there solely for giggles and rainbows. There will be conflict, unless you live in a fairyland, but what kind of friendship is that? Friendships are obviously built on mutual interests, but it’s unrealistic to think your friends are going to hold the same exact beliefs as you all the time.
My best friendships are with people who have seen my worst sides on display, and yet they still love me, despite all my warts and scars. And they reciprocate in kind, though not normally as intensely as I do.
I am not a people person, nor do I have a lot of friends, but I know a good friend when I see one. Don’t let go of friends who will give you tough love; oftentimes they love you more than your friends who avoid any and all conflict with you.