Regrets

I have quite a few regrets from my life, but one in particular still causes me angst because of the tragedy I brought on myself.

It happened in February of 2017.

It was a Monday.

I exercised and showered like I did every morning.

This fateful day would soon be marred by horrors difficult to describe. The memories are painful, but maybe my confession will help others.

After my workouts, I love drinking chocolate milk. For some reason, it’s one of the best things you can drink after a workout. I’m not complaining, I just find it interesting.

Anyway.

After my shower, I went to my fridge, and when I opened it, there was no milk left.

My stomach dropped, and my heartrate skyrocketed.

No milk?!

Ah!! How could this happen?

What did I do to deserve such a cruel turn of events?

I realized I forgot to get milk at the store over the weekend.

I cried like a baby.

Why me? How could I be so careless? I didn’t have time to go to the store before work.

Catastrophically, I had to go without my chocolate milk that morning. I couldn’t have cereal, either. I was so traumatized, I do not even know what I ate for breakfast that morning. A lot of that day has been repressed in my memory.

I walked around in a daze the rest of the day. I went to the store after work, which helped give me reprieve from my suffering, but I still could not fathom how I forgot to get milk over the weekend.

I was scared I was losing my mind again. Maybe I was headed towards mania, which makes me participate in dangerous behaviors. Not getting milk is as risky as it gets for me.

I tried to make sure I got good sleep that night, but I had some pretty horrible nightmares about cows going on strike and not making any more milk for the rest of eternity.

When I woke up, I ran to my fridge to see if I still had my milk. Unfortunately, I stubbed my toe on my kitchen table because I didn’t have my glasses on. I felt like I was in a hellacious, inverted version of Give a Mouse a Cookie.

Forget a Gallon of Milk…

The rest of my week was filled with minor mishaps caused by my forgetfulness with the milk.

That is why it is my biggest regret.

Take heed, everyone. Living on the edge is not everything it’s cracked up to be.